Hello!
It's been quite a while since my last post and look, its 2016!! Unlike most people, this NYE i'm staying in at home ahaha loving this super cooling weather in SG.
Pretty excited for January 2016 though hehe, mainly cause of the HK trip with Sherie whee!! Quite a number of friends are flying over to HK these days too so let's see if I will bump into them while in HK heh. It'll be nice to bump into familiar faces while abroad :)
So. 2015.
I'm feeling pretty neutral about this year. It has its hits and misses for me, with the hits revolving mainly dance and not entirely academics. So yeah, guess I'm still pretty lost about my academics/future career. But thankfully, I managed to pull up my CAP slightly after Y3S1 and that made me more determined to work harder in the coming semesters. Thanks to this semester, I got to know and befriended more coursemates and definitely learnt so much more from them, who are all so willing to share. So I guess I'm less lost... and I hope that in the year 2016, I will at least have some idea of what I want to do with my life.
I also hope to be less lazy in terms of dance. Recently I've been thinking about how much more I could have accomplished if I used this winter break practicing rather than simply nua-ing at home. Sigh. Finally found the genre that I'm interested in and I'm just so lazy...
Lastly, I hope to be less socially awkward (wrt the previous post). To be my previous self, the happy, laugh alot, friendly self. Maybe I'm just tired of making all these non-lasting friendships subconsciously... oh well.
May 2016 be a better year than 2015 ever was.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Friday, 1 January 2016
Saturday, 5 December 2015
#001: focus
Hello.
So I finally decide to switch back to Blogger due to the repeated unsuccessful attempts at login in my Livejournal account which subsequently caused myself to be temporarily banned from entering for an hour lol.
I had the urge to post somewhere about my thoughts recently. It's getting too much to bear and I wasn't in the mood to (literally) talk about it now. I have been feeling out of sorts in the later half of 2015; I've been feeling increasingly socially awkward. I feel that people don't really want to talk to me, that I am dull, boring, that they have better people to talk to. Like how I'm the option, not the priority. Never the priority. These aren't baseless accusations. If you were me for a day, you would see how people look at me. You would feel how awkward the pauses could get because then I would try (and fail) to fill up the silence.
Maybe I am overthinking all this shit but somehow I can't put a stop to these ramblings and insecurities going on in my mind. It's so hard to be a normal human. Who was the girl before the second half of 2015 came about? How did she communicate with others then? Or was I always this cringeworthy awkward, oblivious person, only to know now?
So tired of all these going on in my mind.
So I finally decide to switch back to Blogger due to the repeated unsuccessful attempts at login in my Livejournal account which subsequently caused myself to be temporarily banned from entering for an hour lol.
I had the urge to post somewhere about my thoughts recently. It's getting too much to bear and I wasn't in the mood to (literally) talk about it now. I have been feeling out of sorts in the later half of 2015; I've been feeling increasingly socially awkward. I feel that people don't really want to talk to me, that I am dull, boring, that they have better people to talk to. Like how I'm the option, not the priority. Never the priority. These aren't baseless accusations. If you were me for a day, you would see how people look at me. You would feel how awkward the pauses could get because then I would try (and fail) to fill up the silence.
Maybe I am overthinking all this shit but somehow I can't put a stop to these ramblings and insecurities going on in my mind. It's so hard to be a normal human. Who was the girl before the second half of 2015 came about? How did she communicate with others then? Or was I always this cringeworthy awkward, oblivious person, only to know now?
So tired of all these going on in my mind.
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